Braig, bastard child of the sea

(no subject)

Where I work (Totally Can't Mention the Name but it rhymes with Shame Plop) the push for reserves and subscriptions has gotten a little out of control, imho. And by a little I mean DEAR GOD I am so sick of how important these numbers are when we don't get any form of reward for this ridiculous amount of #$!@#% upselling. Seriously, 'Stain Drop' is using us ruthlessly for something that is outside the initial job description. Advisors are basically cashiers who get minimum wage but are expected to guarantee thousands in extra revenue by professionally (with no training courses) extract money from the wallets of consumers. I believe it is not fair to punish for failure but not reward for effort. Just sayin'. They better not fucking read this random post and fire me either, I called them Pain Slop after all...who could that possibly be?)

Also: 3rd Birthday is pretty nifty. I'm not much for shooters but it's easy to get use to and the graphics are gorgeous. The fact you lose clothing from being damaged is hilarious to me...I don't think I can manage being a feminist. @_@
Are we dancing?


Seems like a lot of people use Facebook now instead of LJ. Eh. I don't really write on this for social reasons, oddly enough. Not to say I don't enjoy conversing and commenting, etc. But I just sometimes like to write entries in a more journal-type outlet and Facebook isn't really journal-like at all. It seems to demand things to be more summarized. Quick bites of life. I think LJ encourages more expounded thoughts and certainly encourages a lot more lovely fics and creativity.

So yeah, I guess I want to start using this thing again. Maybe write out thoughts on the day in an attempt to better understand anything, everything, whatever. I also want to start writing stories again.

One tiny note: I had to do a pre-count at work (we count all inventory and sticker it). It took until 2 am instead of until midnight. And why? WHY? Because everyone wanted to talk instead of count except me and one other person. ARGHFARGHL.
Braig, bastard child of the sea

Old but not Dead

My joints hurt when it rains. I remember when I thought forty was old. I like reading the newspaper in bed and finding good coupons. I didn't know this happened to hard-boiled pseudo Irish pirates. God help me I'm old. Not in comparison to some of course but...soul wise, I am currently somewhere in the "get off my lawn!" stage. Does this make me hard to be around? I'm curious. I feel like setting sail again, going on another adventure. I want passion rattling through this old frame. I want to find jewels to put in his pale hair, strange fruit to feed him, I want to face danger with no looking back. I'll have to ask...would you want to go? I can wait for you.
Shiori: necrophile

Nothing really


That is all.

Touga: *wants to meet lovely lady*
Juri: *wants coffee and to be a fencing instructor*
Miki: *wants grown up hair, lulz*
Kozue: *wants to seduce Miki's love interests*
Mikage: *wants to find some damn clues!*
Saiyonji: *wants to be a ronin but Wakaba says come back or KILLZORZ will happen*
Wakaba: *wants to move in with Sai and whip him into shape*
Nanami: *Wants to rule the new school*
Utena:*eating a bagel in some far off city*
Anthy: *secret smile*
Mitsuru: *dating a girl his age, finally*
Braig, bastard child of the sea

Goodbye sweet, cruel girl


It helps to say things like "It's better", "Time heals", and other things that try desperately to paint a picture of a world where every second isn't as sharp as broken glass. The truth is, sweet, cruel girl, you have been gone a long time. And I let the corrupted mirror of you tread on my dreams until even I didn't recognize my own heart.

I can walk forward, each step is a little easier. I'll never, could never, forget you. Every pretty smile is yours, every summer smells of you.

I believe a vacation would do me good, and I need to find a place to live. The World of Three Rings is my next destination, whether it is for me or not remains to be seen.
bad times

Analysis, recovery, moving


Funny that I should finally find myself at a computer after all this time. I have an impending visit to Kaitana, but for now I am spending the night in Fujimara, Nippon. It is for that reason I have a computer to use and time to reflect.

Where have I come from, where am I going? It keeps repeating in my head like a program backfiring into eternity. Where I come from shouldn't matter so much, ne? But it as if I am disconnected to the grand scheme of my own a fragment of intentions floating away, ravaged by storms, abandoned by fate. Dramatic maybe, but if one cannot wax poetic about their mortal existence than philosophy is pointless.

I am a man, simply said. I have my own heart and mind now, I am not expendable nor am I controlled by desire and despair. I am not a machine. Machines have simpler existences, but simplicity is not always the wiser choice. I want to know what to do with myself. I want to travel far and wide and find a home.

Technology remains my main interest but lately I have begun to think about my natural talent for soul research. I want to understand the human psyche, know it as a lover, a scientist, an observer. A participant.

Last night I dreamed I opened an office that was full of computers from a multitude of worlds. I created a hub, a database of human horror and beauty so vast that its power source and container was a god that swirled beneath my lab. It had every color but the un-color of eldritch and the sight of it made me weep like a child into my hands.

When I woke I realized it was as if I had seen the akashic first hand, touched the great intersection of human dreaming. I think perhaps one of my paths could involve it. The great record, the unseen current.

I am glad to be awake. I exist and there are people I find myself able to talk to. They even know the things I've done. I wish I could thank them, but words were never my strong suit.
Ishida Uryu



I can't believe how different my life is now. There is no way I could have predicted such a change...such a vast change. I am happier now, and that in itself is hard to trust. But I do. I trust that I am stronger for allowing connections to form. I am stronger for knowing that I cannot make this alone.

I love him, what can I say?
Braig, bastard child of the sea

27 and How long to Go?

Well, my birthday came and went. Had a lovely late night dinner at IHOP and Zel made me a strawberry cake with strawberry icing like I requested. It was made of nummy. I also have the 20th anniversary MST3K collection on its way, which makes me a very happy squirrel indeed.

As far as turning 27...well, it sucks that I am the oldest person at my gamestop (except Zaph who is a few months older), but it's not like I'm predating metallurgy over here. It is true I hate the idea of turning 30. I need to have more done by then. I'm a manager at Game Stop, but that isn't what I wanted to do with my life as long term plan. I've finished about 80% of classes needed for a degree. And now I decide "Hey I wanna teach little kids art!" because making a manga isn't going to make me money (not that I've given up on that dream mind you). So yeah, I need to get classes in that field started and done.

As a last note, I've been playing Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution and it is incredibly engrossing. Very fun, I recommend it to pretty much everyone. (sidenote: Zel is much better at it but in all fairness he has played about 80 hours of it total ^_^)